Over 40? Make your Passions Work for You!
Over 40? Make your passions Work for you!
February, 2007
By Craig Nathanson - The Vocational Coach™
Why is this important?
Making your passions WORK for you is important because your happiness MATTERS and makes a difference in your life.
Waking up to a day you really look forward to can make all the difference in your world.
It can be even better: Imagine waking up day after day to the work you love to do. After we turn forty, things change. If we admit it to ourselves, deep inside we wish we could do more with our lives. Our concerns usually center around our work. At this stage of life, we tend to give up our dreams and settle on doing just a job and hope one day to finally do what we love when we retire.
But will that day ever come?
Where do you stand?
Do you know what you are passionate about?
Are you working at what you are passionate about?
If you didn’t answer “yes” to both questions, you have more to do. Many people over forty just assume it’s too late. They feel society’s pressure to slow down, conserve and save.
Are you saving too much?
Recent research by a small group research institution suggests that Americans are currently saving too much. The report suggests that we should get more out of our money while we are young. Otherwise, we risk losing opportunities to enjoy what we have vs. saving for when we’re older.
Of course this advice would be frowned on by almost every financial firm—they have great ideas for using your money! Most of these firms suggest the average person will need an annual income equal to 75 to 86% of what he or she earned in their final year of employment!
When you do what you love and have a lighter backpack, you never need to retire!
What these firms don’t understand is that with a lighter backpack, we can, in fact, work forever doing what we love and come pretty close to the income we require. With vocation, there is no final year of employment until one stops breathing!
What happens if you wait too long?
Your quality of life decreases. Life feels mundane, and your goals no longer seem interesting. Your loved ones suddenly become your scapegoats. You start to feel sluggish and you end up spending too many hours on the couch watching mindless television.
Meet Joe Kasper of New York City
I recently interviewed Joe on my regular show, “How to make meaning and money in mid-life”. Joe calls himself “American’s diet coach”. Joe describes health as his passion, and it shows! Joe walks his talk and it’s catching. It is hard to listen to Joe and not feel anxious and wanting to do something with your own life. Joe explains that he was fired from 14 traditional jobs until he finally figured out that he was better working for himself than for other people.
Joe’s excitement was so contagious that he could probably have had me believing in the Pet Rock again!
This is what happens when you surround yourself with people who have made their passions WORK.
Meet Jennifer Wright of New Zealand
At age 47, Jennifer moved halfway around the world to make her passion WORK. On another recent show, Jennifer told me that her move, while very risky, proved to be the most magical thing she ever did. It was just the perfect recipe for her, and today she works with mid-life women to help them find meaning in their own lives. How appropriate!
As I interviewed Jennifer, it reminded me that when a person makes their passion WORK, they gain a new perspective of their lives and what is possible.
Jennifer like Joe, had that extra kick in her voice, that little giggle when describing what she does.
Yes, making your passion WORK can make you a bit giddy.
The first steps
Evaluate what you want. This is always the easiest and yet the most difficult. This takes an honest self assessment. Find out who else shares your passion and actually makes an income doing what you love. You’ll be surprised what you discover. For example, let’s say you love building model airplanes but you need to make $ 75,000 a year. Not enough people to sell airplanes to? No problem.
You could start your own store and call it, “Model Planes for You”. You could work for a model plan manufacturer as a sales rep to get started. You could start an internet site as a place for model plane hobbyists to gather, getting revenue from ads and other means. You could start a business organizing model airplane parties for kids. You could offer team building events to corporate America that involve building paper airplanes. Attendees would see which group’s paper airplane flies the farthest. Corporate America loves to spend money on this kind of event!
[I can remember once going to a team building event where we worked on building trust by being forced to fall off a ten-foot ledge with a blindfold on so that our teammates could catch us as we fell. When my teammates failed to catch me, I realized it was time to go, but that’s another story!]
You might have several income-producing activities along with perhaps working a couple of days a week at a local hobby store to make ends meet in the short term.
Prepare to downscale
Sorry to disappoint you but I have seldom seen a person make their passion WORK without some initial downscaling. This doesn’t mean forever, just initially.
This might scare many baby boomers to run in the other direction—fast. After all, what would we do without our SUV’s (and their lease payments), our large mortgages and our retirement nest eggs?
Well, I guarantee we would be freer and lighter and better able to explore new possibilities for making our passions WORK.
There is a difference
There is a difference between working hard so that one day you can live your passions vs. making your passion WORK for you right now.
Taking the next steps are, as always, up to you.
I’ll be cheering you on each step of the way!
Over 40? the Top 10 Ways to Quit your Job
# 1 Figure out why you should quit in the first place
That’s right. If you find joy, passion and meaning in your work, there is no reason to quit. Sadly, this isn’t the case for many of the people I meet.
Look at what is most important to you. Is your work aligned with what you prize most in your life? If not, this is a good reason to change now. Does your job pay the bills, but does not feed your soul?
This is another good reason to quit. Do you find it hard to drag yourself out of bed in the morning? Yet another reason to quit.
# 2 Find new authentic ways to earn what you need
How can you earn income working at activities that seem like a better alignment of your abilities and your interests? What work can you do that will last a lifetime? What kind of work gives you the most passion and joy? What work excites you? What work helps you live with integrity and is the most natural expression of who you are?
# 3 Stop fooling yourself
I have heard all the excuses: the work is unfulfilling, but I have a family to support; I have bills to pay; doing what I love isn’t realistic or practical; I have been doing this job too long to quit now.
The better question to ask is: “How could I support my family and pay my bills by doing work that feeds my soul, and that I love to do?”
What a concept!
You’ll appreciate your family even more. Even paying your bills won’t seem so bad.
# 4 Uncross your arms
Stop being so negative! The more reasons you create to explain why you can’t make your dreams come true, the more you’ll believe what’s NOT possible in your life. As a result, you’ll simply drag yourself back to that office for more useless paperwork, meetings, performance reviews, too many emails and worst of all—those office birthday celebrations!
# 5 Don’t EVER give up
Brain synapses work in a powerful way. You think a thought in your mind, and you can’t help but to think of a similar thought. So as you think of a new possibility in your work—doing what you love—you think of a solution you never considered before. Be careful what you think; the opposite is also true.
For example, right now, do NOT think of a green door.
You are not listening to me!!
You see; to NOT think of a green door, you first have to think of a green door!
# 6 Ask better questions
Vocational Passion takes new muscles. To help prepare, start to ask better questions. For example, as you think about your life’s work, ask yourself, “Do you realize that…?”
As your mind races for an answer, new ideas emerge.
As you think about your life right now, finish the sentences, “I am grateful for…?” and, “Isn’t it great that…?”
These questions will help to get new positive emotions flowing.
# 7 Build a better support network
The more time you spend around those who are stagnant in their work lives, the more stuck you will also feel. Start now to spend time with those people who have the same passions as you do, and you’ll gain new energy in your life.
# 8 Rethink your definition of success
The more you measure your work and life success using external factors such as great pay, great performance reviews, a big office, a large staff, a happy spouse, a great job title, and proud in-laws (the worst measure of all!), the more pressure you’ll feel to continually raise the bar to live up to these expectations.
These expectations will keep increasing, and are totally out of your control.
# 9 Make a decision and then take action
There were three frogs sitting on three lily pads, and two frogs decided to jump. How many frogs were left on the lily pads? This will be the most important and most useful math lesson you will ever learn.
#10 Treat making money, and spending what you make, with more respect
When you work at JUST a job, you don’t really appreciate what you make. You just want more of it, hoping it will somehow make up for all of your unhappiness at work. You don’t even appreciate it when you spend it. Again, you just want to buy more stuff to make up for your unhappiness.
The good news is that when you earn money doing the work you love, every dollar you earn and spend takes on more meaning and satisfaction.
Quit your job- Re-join your life instead!
Jobs lead to careers, which lead to retirement, and then death.
VOCATION (doing the work that calls you) can be done forever—until the day you stop breathing. When you are doing work that you love, you won’t see the difference between work and play. The only people who retire (retreat and get ready to “tire”) are those who do not love what they do. With vocational passion (doing the work you love), the concept of saving and or putting off your work happiness for after retirement won’t make sense to you any more. So when you get those AARP (retirement fund) notices in the mail, run in the other direction!!
You can and should make better use of your life and your work NOW. You’ll be happier, and so will the people around you who love you.
Isn’t this enough?
I’ll be cheering you on as you go- Craig Nathanson
Over 40? the 10 Steps to Finally Doing the Work Thatâs Just Right for You
P is for Perfect: Purpose
What is life about? How will you make a difference in the world? Your purpose drives your behavior and can provide you with daily energy and happiness. What is the purpose of your life? Think deeply about where you most want to make a contribution in the world.
Does making people laugh give you purpose? How about making food for others? Maybe itâs helping others become physically fit. Perhaps itâs helping supply a service that helps people stay organized. Your purpose is personal. No one will really care except the most important person in the world â YOU. Having a purpose will change your life and give you the direction you are looking for.
P is for Perfect: Prize
What is most important to you? What behaviors would you have to follow each day to be true to yourself? What would you have to do each day to NOT follow what is most important to you? The choice is yours.
Look at your daily activities. Are you spending your time on what is most important to you? Does your work align with what is most important to you? Is your work a natural alignment of your abilities and your interests?
Living life through others and their values will leave you feeling out of control and stagnant. Living life through what YOU prize most will give your life meaning, and give you a feeling of fulfillment.
P is for Perfect: Perspective
Others have views about you. Whatâs more important is the perspective you have of yourself.
You can change perceptions that arenât useful to you any longer. What is your perspective of the world?
How do you feel about you? Where do these feelings come from? Could you replace these feelings with new ideas that are most useful right now?
What we focus on is what we get. If you continually think about what is not working, you will only attract more of this into your life. Instead, focus on what you want with regards to your work. Find others who are doing exactly what you want to do. Talk to them; study them. If they can do it, so can you.
P is for Perfect: Possibilities
What is possible for you in your vocational life? So many of us focus, instead, on whatâs impossible. What would you have to do to start believing more things are possible for you?
Possibilities start with you. If you really think something you want is not possible, then you will not move towards it. On the other hand, start to believe what you want IS possible, and you will find new energy to move towards what you want.
Give yourself proof that what you want is possible and real. The mind canât tell the difference between whatâs real and whatâs imagined, when thinking about the future.
Make sure what you focus on is what is right for you.
P is for Perfect: Place
What is your role in the world? In your heart, what is the vision you have for yourself? What are your abilities and your interests? Do they match?
Is your current job something you could really do for the rest of your life?
If not, you must change. The only people who retire, are people who donât love what they do. Most people dream of retirement, and then when they get there, they are bored and depressed, and they die not too many years after.
The solution?
Find work now that you can enjoy doing until you stop breathing. Many financial experts now will help you make a financial plan that covers 100 years. Thatâs a lot of years, and if you are between 40 and 50, thatâs nearly half your life to go!
Time for a change if your work no longer serves you.
P is for Perfect: Position
What is your attitude on a daily basis? What would you like to change, and why? What small steps could you take now to âtry onâ a new daily position?
Does your work bring a smile to your face each day?
Do you want to pinch yourself because you canât believe you actually make a living doing what you love? If this is NOT true for you, itâs time for change!
Yes, you can decide to have a good attitude at a lousy job for a while. But you are only fooling yourself, and it will not last long.
P is for Perfect: Passion
What are you really passionate about? Can you identify the vocational patterns in your passions? Donât let negativity defeat your creativity.
What do you most often think about â what gets you excited with regards to your work?
What type of work makes you happy, alive, and full of energy?
P is for Perfect: Perfect Vocational Day
Do you have a vision of your perfect day â can you imagine living your dream while making the income you require at the same time? If you canât imagine it, you canât move towards it.
Write down exactly what would be just perfect for you with regards to an average work day doing something that could last a lifetime. Why not? Most jobs were not developed for you.
Most job searching is backwards. Instead of trying to fit yourself into a job, start with exactly what the pattern of your perfect day would be; a daily plan that works best for you. This will lead you to the right work. You wonât need Human Resources for this!
P is for Perfect: Present
What are you doing in the present to move towards your perfect vocational day? Do you know the gap between your dreams, and where you are now? Do you know the real reason why reaching your perfect vocational day is so important to you?
Do you have the right relationships now to support your journey?
Do you have the right people in your life to support you and fuel your journey?
Write a future biography that describes what you want your life to be like in 2-3 years. You are not done until this vision fits you perfectly.
P is for Perfect: Putting it all together (Giving yourself permission)
Have you defined and written down exactly what you want? Have you talked about it with others?
If you follow your heart, you will become a magnet for your dreams.
Look for those defining moments in your life â the times when you find yourself saying âenough is enough!â
Maybe it will be something big like a divorce, illness, layoff, or a financial crisis. Maybe it will simply be a realization that these faceless bosses, meetings, and paperwork are getting in the way of an authentic life. Most jobs would not be done if people were not paid to do them.
Only you can find and do the work that matters most to YOU.
I think this might be JUST the right time for you to get started!
Iâll be cheering you on as you go- Craig Nathanson
Stressed About your Job and Over 40?
Look at the big picture of your life
This can be hard to do. The daily pressures of a thankless job, a demanding commute, and mounting bills all lead to stress. Worst of all is the nagging feeling that your life is out of your control, and slowly slipping away.
I don’t have time to change
This is the typical sound-byte. While it’s normal, this is just an excuse, and you know it. Most people don’t fear change, but how the change might upset their dull and comfortable lives.
Are you feeling alive about your work?
Do you go to bed with excitement and anticipation about your work the next day? Do you have trouble sleeping because you can’t wait to get up in the morning? Do you pinch yourself because you can’t believe you’ve figured out a way to actually do what you love AND make the income you need?
This is possible for you.
You need a plan. It starts with what you want. Most of us start with what we don’t want, and that is exactly what we end up with. Let’s say you have one of those corporate jobs. You’re making good money, and your in-laws are proud of you.
But each day, it’s getting harder and harder to go to work. Work pressures are rising; you constantly work under the fear that you are not living up to THEIR expectations
It’s time to become a free agent
Whether you intend to work for yourself or someone else, the steps are the same. What are the services and/or products you could sell to someone else, and that you most want to deliver or create. This is a helpful exercise even if you plan to work for someone else.
For each service or product, write down the features.
For example, if you want to deliver customer service training, one feature might be interactive or customer-driven education.
What are the benefits?
The next step is to identify—next to each feature—how someone would benefit from your product or service. For example, the benefit of customer driven classroom education might be that it is real-time and instructor-lead, resulting in fast-paced, hands-on learning.
Who would be your ideal niche audience?
This is the most important question. Who specifically do you want to serve as your customer? Are they middle-aged men, college students, executives?
Normally we take jobs, and then we have to live with the culture we walk into. There is a better model. First YOU decide the type of customer YOU most want to serve.
For example, if you really want to serve college students, going to work for the social security administration might not be the best choice!
You create your work
This is the mental shift you must make. You design exactly what would be just perfect for you. Consider all the services or products you could offer to others.
You deserve it
Now, over 40 and having worked 15-20 years, this is your time to FINALLY design your life the way you want it.
What about the money?
A complicated subject, and unique to each person. Think about how much you need vs. how much you want. There is a difference. How can you lighten your backpack of life now? Can your spouse work? Can you find a spouse who would work?
Can your family help you plan some cutbacks in the short term?
Can you cash in your retirement fund, since you won’t need it? After all, the only people who retire are those who don’t love what they do.
Can you live on less material happiness, and more internal bliss?
What about my responsibilities?
We all have responsibilities. Whether you are single and alone, or married with three kids, if you are over 40, you know this is the time to be selfish. You gather the team together, and ask for their support. You don’t intend to stop being responsible; you just need, at this time of your life, to be more creative in how you earn the money so that you can be happier and more fulfilled in your life. You just need a better way to make YOUR life WORK for you.
The choice is always up to you
You can ignore this advice, and continue to waste your time and energy on useless work while your life moves on.
Or instead, you can decide right now: enough is enough. You can realize that the only thing holding you back is YOU. You can decide and take action to change to work you are passionate about, and that better aligns your natural abilities and interests.
Be a role model
The best role model you can provide for your kids, or those you love, is to do the work you are passionate about.
This is the authentic life. It will be a lonely pursuit at first (well, I’ll be cheering for you), but soon you will wonder why you waited so long to change in the first place.
Stressed about your job?
No need—you have bigger plans now to WORK on.
I’ll be cheering you on as you go- Craig Nathanson
Over 40? How to Build the Support Network Youâll Need Now for the Rest of your Life and Work!
Why is this critical?
Many of us start to question our work after we turn 40, and it can seem threatening to those around us. After all, think about all the years you left early in the morning for work, and came home late at night. You made a good income and never seemed to complain much. Why the sudden need to change NOW, at your age? Well, this is exactly the time when change is needed most. While most jobs and organizations are only concerned about productivity and being effective, those over 40 want more freedom, meaning and clarity in their work. They want to know WHY they are doing the work, and what difference it is making for themselves, and in the greater world.
With the right support network at this point in your life, new ideas can flourish, new dreams can become real, and new energy for life becomes available.
What happens without the right support network?
People go under. They bury their dreams for âsomedayâ (which never comes). They convince themselves to continue doing the same old routine work, and hope that, by some magic, a good fairy will show up with a wand and make things better. If you are honest with yourself, you know this wonât happen.
Do you fire those around you?
You might have to. Does your support network help you move forward towards what you want, or does it hold you back? If the people in your life are holding you back, you will need a new team. Eliminating those in your life who are holding you back is just as important. If the people holding you back happen to be your immediate family, then an urgent meeting is necessary. In this meeting, as in any business meeting, you must tell them you are in a crisis.
Through much reflection, you have discovered that your work no longer fits you. It is time for a new direction. You ask for support and understanding. You explain that, with or without that support, you must go forward with your new ideas and plans. Let them know that if you donât, you are sure you will die sooner then you planned. Explain that you will do your best to minimize the impact, but you expect that changes will be required. In the short term, there will be a need to downscale the financial requirements of life to accommodate this next journey. If you find you do not have the support you need, you will have to deal with it sooner or later. I suggest that you should set a date within twelve months to do this.
Take the first steps now to build the right network for you.
Make a list of new people you could meet, and or network with, who are interested in the same things you are interested in (your passions) This should be a short list, perhaps six people. Make sure you stay in touch with them weekly. You can meet these people in your neighborhood, in on-line discussion groups, and or at networking events. Make a second list of people who are both interested and supportive in what you want to do. These people will bring you ideas as you start your journey. Youâll need about three of these people. You might have to hire someone â it all depends. You want three people who are not only doing what you want to do and but who are also willing to give you ideas and resources to help on your journey. You can take a class; buy a product, sign up for a newsletter â there are many activities that will help you obtain these ideas. The third step is to find someone who believes in you and your work. This is a person who you might have to pay initially, but who does what you love to do, has great ideas and or products you could use, and â most importantly â sends you business. This is a person who becomes your mentor, your friend, your coach â someone who is interested in your welfare and your success.
What about those you fired?
You wonât have time to worry about the OLD team. You will be too busy building your NEW team. At this stage you wonât be looking back. You will have begun to build your new life and your new work.
Whatâs at stake?
If you donât take action after 40 to discover and do the work you love, your life will become routine, dull and lacking in passion. This is the sure path to retirement, followed by a quick death. If you do take action, suddenly you will have new passion and new purpose for your life, and those in it. You will cherish each day and totally use each one. The best way to get started and to build momentum is with the efforts of a new team, a new support network.
Examine your team now.
Fire those members who will not be useful for the next stage of your journey, and build a new team that will be just perfect for you â right now.
As always, Iâll be cheering you on as you go
Craig Nathanson
The Top 10 Fatal Mistakes People Make After Age 40!
Mistake # 1:
Doing work that brings no joy or happiness
Who made up the rule that says work should bring misery. Go ahead and add up the hours of “work” left in your life. Calculate up to the day you stop breathing, not the day you retire. A big number, isn’t it? Now, how will you spend those hours?
The choice is yours.
Mistake #2:
Doing work that does not align your abilities and your interests
This is huge. Think about it. If your work does not include an alignment of your abilities and your interests, no wonder you feel burned out. Better to be interested in something that you don’t have abilities in than to work a lifetime at activities you are good, at but have no interest in.
Mistake #3:
Working for someone else
When you are working just to pay the bills or support your family or please your spouse or your parents, you are dying a slow death. Just like the frog in the slowly heating pot, you won’t notice at first. You are too busy working day to day to think about it. Of course you love your family and want to help them. After 40, you have served society’s calling. Now it is your turn to finally do what you love and enlist those around you for support. If you don’t, the pot will boil over before right before your eyes.
Mistake # 4:
Staying in work that is empty and without meaning out of fear
Many of us fear what might happen if we take a chance. I suggest you instead look at what you have at stake if you don’t change. Your life!!
I can guarantee you won’t die or become homeless if you follow your passion and figure out now how to do what you love. I CAN guarantee, however, that you will live an empty life without happiness if you continue to spend 8-10 hours a day at just a job. And your unhappiness will affect everyone around you.
Mistake # 5:
Staying in a job JUST for the money and the perks and the title
Many people do this. The money is nice. It enables us to buy stuff and stay in debt. The free coffee or laundry or discount coupons or big office with real wood makes us feel important. The title, of course, helps us tell people what we do.
The problem with this strategy is we avoid becoming self-aware and knowing WHO we are. When we find out, this is a much better story to tell ourselves and those around us.
Mistake #6:
Working in a job that does not align with what is most important to you
What is most important to you in your life? Is it your work? The bigger the gap between your daily activity and what is most important to you, the greater the opportunity for emptiness, a quick death or even worse, RETIREMENT.
Mistake # 7:
Waiting for permission
Those who wait for permission to change and do the work they love will have a long wait. Permission must come from within you. It is not easy but it is the only way to an authentic life.
Mistake # 8:
Becoming comfortable but not happy at work
You know the signs. You know exactly when the boss’s report is due each week; you look forward to the Friday night after-work social hour, and the Christmas bonus. Deep inside however, you know you are fooling everyone but yourself. The first step towards change is acknowledging the inner signal and doing something about it.
Mistake # 9:
Waiting for retirement to be happy
So much can happen between now and retirement, and it will. The ONLY people who re-tire (get ready to die) are people who don’t love their work. Want to slow down the aging process? Do what you love now!
Mistake #10:
Deciding to pursue happiness outside of work
I hear this one all the time. The problem with this strategy is your quality of life declines with this move. Eight to ten hours of working in an empty job, or worse, an empty career, leaves you with very little energy left over for anything fun.
The other day someone asked me how often I worked, and for how many hours. It was such a strange question for me. I didn’t know what to say. It was like asking me, how often do I breathe?
Years ago, I did give a numerical answer, of course, but not anymore.
So how about you? Are you working? Or are you breathing life and all that it has to offer?
As always, I’ll be cheering you on as you go- Craig Nathanson
Over 40? Learn to Envision and Live your Perfect Vocational Day
Have you ever thought about what your perfect work would be? How about the pattern of a typical work day for the rest of your life? What daily routine would get you excited and bring joy and happiness to your work?
This didn’t come with the job description
The problem with job descriptions is that they are defined by someone else. They rarely take into consideration what brings you fulfillment.
How do I get started?
Whether you work for yourself or someone else, it is critical to start with the idea of what would be just perfect for you. For example, when would you get up in the morning? Once up, what would your morning routine be? Would you start your day exercising, with a little run, or perhaps some yoga or meditation? Or would you make breakfast first instead? Would you eat alone or with others? Who would they be?
What would you wear to your work?
Sweats, suit, shorts?
What would be just perfect for you?
I’m sure by now you’re thinking, “What does all of this have to do with my job? After all, I go to my job and I’m stuck with the rest of the day based on how much time is left.”
Yes, that is the traditional way of looking at your work.
For those over you 40, I’m proposing a radical new way of looking at your work. You get to design your entire day around the work YOU want to do instead of just the limited time left over after an empty and meaningless day at the office.
Where would you go?
Where would you go for your work? What would be perfect for you?
Would you like to work from home, or would you prefer to work outdoors? Would you prefer to work alone or with others? Maybe you would rather drive a short distance to a small office and work with a small group of other people. Or perhaps you would enjoy working with hundreds of others around you in a large organization.
How about lunch?
When will you eat lunch? Where will you eat lunch? Who will you eat lunch with on a typical day?
Back in my corporate days, I remember sneaking out at lunch (I was in management) to go for a run. I also remember too many lunch hours spent in drab conference rooms, working with others while eating unhealthy food. I can remember thinking how terrible this was for my system.
How long will your work day be?
How long will you work each day? What will you do after work? Who will you spend your time with after work?
This is all part of the design of your perfect vocational day. How will your evenings go? Who will you spend your evenings with? It’s so important to have support and love and downtime after your work ends each day. Coming home, instead, to someone who does not support the work you love will drain you and you’ll have less energy for your quest for vocational happiness and for the experience of life itself.
How will your evenings go?
When will you eat dinner? Who will you be with at dinner on a typical day? What will you do after dinner? What does your evening look like?
Will you spend the evening alone, with others, or a combination of the two? Your evenings are an important part of your perfect vocational day. This again, is something most employers don’t care at all about, unless you are spending your evenings at the office, of course! This is the difference between creating the perfect work for you, and just dragging yourself home after a long day at the office and collapsing on the couch.
When you do just a job, the quality of your downtime suffers as you worry about the next day of work.
What about sleep?
At the end of your perfect vocational day, when will you go to sleep? How will you go to sleep? What nightly ritual will you follow before bed? A little yoga, a warm bath, light reading, television, or intimacy with someone you love?
What’s perfect for me?
You must keep asking yourself this question, because no one else will do it for you. Be careful as you design your perfect vocational day, because you will indeed start to move towards it. Make sure you really know just what you want.
Typical job searching is all backwards
Most people look for jobs that are available with little thought to all the other hours of their days. The typical job description only covers the requirements of the job. I have never seen one that covers whether you should exercise or eat a big breakfast.
The point is: it’s critical to design what you want BEFORE you go looking for it.
Now you get to play by new rules
After many years of playing the work game the traditional way, now you get to change the rules. When you design the work day you want, you automatically start to alter your thinking, and you start to focus on what you want and what you do not want. Unless you place your focus on what you want, you’ll start to focus too much on what you don’t want in your work life, and then this is exactly what you’ll end up with.
Now at work
Once at work, what exactly will you do? What activities will align your abilities and your interests and bring you the most joy?
Joy?
Yes joy! Now that’s a question no one in the HR department will ever ask you about! This is where you must be specific. Your mind can’t tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined when envisioning a work day that will bring you joy. You must create the reality you seek.
What are you working on?
Are you developing software, making sandwiches, teaching math, painting, speaking, doing financial analysis, taking pictures or promoting a new cosmetic product?
What would give you the most joy in your work? What would leave you breathless? What would make Monday your best day of the week and Friday the worst because you have to wait until Monday to resume your beloved work?
What work could you do now and continue to do until you stop breathing?
Why retiring will lead you to a quick death
The other day I received the enrollment package for AARP (American Association for Retired People) in the mail. This really scared me. Most Americans after 40 do not like their work, let alone love their work. They dream, instead, to one day retire, and then finally do what they enjoy. The problem with this strategy is that life tends to get in the way while making long range plans. After 40, crises will hit — it’s only a matter of when. If you are doing what you love, you have the best kind of health insurance. When your crisis hits, your work will give you the strength to ride out the storm, and then recover quickly.
You need to be specific
What are you working on that will last a lifetime?
Whether you are working for yourself or someone else, the questions are the same. What specific products or services are you offering in your perfect day of work? What are the features of each of these services? What are the benefits to others of what you are offering? Who are the ideal customers for your services? Day in and day out for the rest of your life, what type of person do you want to work with? Are they engineers, students, disabled children, artists or advertising reps?
Unless you are clear about it, you and your work will end up being mismatched.
Now what?
Ok, now you have the vision of your perfect vocational day. Is this a daily pattern you could follow for the rest of your life? Good! Now you can start to examine how to close the gap between your new vision and today.
For some of you, this will come easy. For others, years of external negative influences, and perhaps a little fear, might prevent quick action, and your next steps might have to be small.
The important part is that you start
Little steps turn into bigger steps. New possibilities turn into bigger possibilities. You are unique and special, and you have many gifts to offer the world. With a new vision of what would be just perfect for you, you can begin to create the second half of your life and work in a way that includes what is most important to you. As you plan your perfect vocational day, you will have begun moving down the path to an authentic life.
Can’t I just separate my life from my work?
This is just an excuse for not moving forward, and down deep, you know this is not possible. I wish it were, but it’s not. Your work and what you do impacts your health, your sense of self, your relationships with others and your overall happiness. Isn’t it worth taking just a little extra time to think about your perfect work life?
Before turning 40, we needed jobs and careers to build both our egos and our sense of self. After 40, jobs and careers are both limiting and outdated.
A new sense of urgency
After 40 when your crisis hits — and it will — you will have a new sense of urgency about your life and what to do with it. Your work, and what you do each and every day, is a great place to start.
I’ll be cheering you on as you go………
How to Change When Change Seems so Hard!
Do I have to change who I am to do what I love?
The answer is yes. When you go from one lackluster job to another one, not much personal change is needed. However, when you go from “just a job” to a vocation—that is, doing what you love—it does require a change. It requires a coming out party, of sorts.
It requires a lifting the “cover” off your true authentic self. It requires risk, creativity, and a new way of thinking about your work and life.
Meet Carl and Monica
Carl Battiste was a sales executive doing all the right things—all the things society has taught us to do. Carl worked hard to support his family, despite a growing feeling of being trapped, despite all the money his job brought in. One day, Carl just couldn’t take it any more. He realized that the pain of not changing was suddenly greater than the pain involved with changing. Carl was passionate about real estate. He made the leap, and the real estate market has been very tough, but he has never been happier.
Monica Lee, a grandmother of ten, now just shy of 60 years old and an artist, remembers back when she made the big change. Shortly after turning 40, she realized that her passion was painting. Despite the uncertainty of making ends meet each month, and initially having to live in the back of her gallery while she rented out her house, and despite the makeshift bed, and showers with a garden hose, she knew this is what she had to do.
What can we learn from Carl, Monica, and others who made similar changes in their life?
It is not easy to make big changes like this, and it will take great sacrifice. It will require emotional strength, unshakable belief in yourself, and a willingness to take risks with your life.
How you can apply these lessons for yourself?
First, decide what you really want to do. Figure out what you are good at doing, and what you really enjoy. This is where you should focus. All the rules we learn in school, and through life, about improving our weaknesses is a waste of time and life. If you do this, you will just be able to do lots of things, but they will all lack energy and passion. It is much better to focus your life’s work and all your efforts on what you really love to do.
What’s the worst that could happen if you do change?
Asking yourself this question is a healthy exercise. I doubt that you will die, or even go homeless. I have discovered that when a person does what they love, they suddenly find new creativity they didn’t know existed as they figure out new ways to make the money they need to keep doing what they love. This is almost like an addiction, but this addiction is good for your soul!
What’s the best that could happen if you do change?
This is an even better question to ask. Think about how the relationships in your life will improve. Think about how much happier you will be. Think about how much more energy you will have in your life.
How to do you achieve what you want?
First envision what you want. Write down exactly what you want to do.
Start talking to others now about this dream. Each day. take small steps toward your dream. These steps might be research, reading, taking a class, or talking to someone else who already does what you want to do. Measure your progress as you go. It is true that what gets measured, gets done—it forces you to reflect on your progress. Finally, reward yourself every step of the way. Small rewards you give yourself can be the best gifts of all!
What is at stake if you don’t change?
This is the most important question of all. If you cannot answer this question, you will not take any action. If you cannot define for yourself what the effect of not changing will have on your life, you will not change. Only when you clearly see the result of NOT changing, will you suddenly find the inner strength to change.
Simply remaining who you are is effective, but not sufficient.
To live with vocational passion, and do work that can last a lifetime takes courage, action, and creativity. It will also take a coming out party of the real you, no longer worried about what others will think.
Change is hard, but only through difficult change will you really grow and, as a result, gain new perspectives about yourself and your world.
As always, I’ll be cheering you on as you go- Craig Nathanson